Art Time Police / by Kyle Darnell

In this assignment you are a Art Time Cop. Your job is to travel history and find artists guilty of committing a crime, then erase them from the time-stream. What are they guilty of? How will erasing them change Art History?

Vincent Van Gogh

Crime: 1st degree wasting paint and 2nd degree annoying fans.

Van Gogh is synonymous with the post-impressionist movement and when his art was collected after his death, helped influence several artists to take more chances with composition and color. That being said, most of his work is terrible. Famous for his impasto technique of laying oil paint onto the canvas in a very thick manner, sometimes straight from the tube, to create his own vision of a scene. Huge waste of very expensive paint that he never had to buy, as his brother Theo was bankrolling him. Just a shame to waste paint like that. That also caused every freshman dorm on ever college campus apparently come pre-furnished with a Starry Night poster.

You know when you like a band but hate their fans? Van Gogh is OG that. Removing Van Gogh will save me from every college freshman art class of breaking the students of their misguided love of Van Gogh.


And I should emphasize to not write about Hitler or George W Bush. They both are know at periods of time as being artists, but they are not most famous for those things. So adjust accordingly. And this is opinion based, if you don't agree with someone thats fine. Also try not to repeat artists.