KDvtM Interlogue: Re-Membering the Godself / by Kyle Darnell


Reintroducing the main character from my MFA thesis, the Godself. He is a character that was born through a re-imagining of my faults and insecurities. My stretchmarks that cover my body became his halo, my fractured teeth became his cross to bear, my lumbering height and poor posture gave him an extra foot to survey all he wants. He went through a series of trials taken from the bible that created his Godly powers. Born of a supernova, he transcends powers to a superhuman level, but ultimately can't truly enact them because his creation is of faults. And embracing faults can (apparently) lead to a pretty shitty person.  

Also "Interlogue" is a word I made up, but it is a way of telling a parallel story that affects the main arc. So, love the word, you'll be seeing it a few more times. 

Interlogue: Re-Membering the Godself

A man floats through deep space. Wearing a blue light jacket with red and grey stripes, jeans, orange and blue sneakers, and wire rimmed golden glasses, he looks sharp. Surrounding his head is a brightly shining golden helmet. Transparent, it shows his face and what appears to be zigzaged black stripes, emanating outside of his face, but still trapped inside the halo. He calls himself the Godself, a supernatural deity traversing the cosmos looking for worshipers to give him the proper respect he deserves.

He is going to the Tarantula nebula, a place he has had visions of since he was a little boy. The Godself believes that, when he was born in 1987, the star that went supernova inside of this region of space announced his birth, proclaiming his right as the God of this Universe. He can see it off in the distance, trapped in the spiraling arm of the Milky Way.

“Double time, now.” He speaks to his feet which start to glow blue and he starts to run. He is not actually on any ground, and in fact he could probably just remain floating in the same position and generate speed through his new godly powers, but it appears that he is a stickler for some sort of normalcy. So off he goes, running on nothing towards a very bright red and green collection of gasses nestled within the vastness of space.

He arrives in the blink of an eye, stopping on the fifth planet he sees. Just a floating hunk of rock, there are no signs of life. Touching down on the barren wasteland beneath him, he lets out a sigh, “This place seems as good as any.” and takes out a black bandanna with white markings resembling a fractured smile from his left pocket and wipes his brow. He wrings the sweat out of the bandanna, dripping onto the ground. The planet starts shaking violently.

Spewing forth from the sweat soaked ground, a rainbow shoots out in all directions, seemingly covering the entire planet in its majestic glow. The Godself begins to walk amongst the nigh unobtainable light, smirking at his own reverence. The trembling continues, shaking the rainbow into different configurations. Distorting, undulating, and almost bursting at the seams of each color. Shapes begin to form, growing to colossal proportions beneath the multicolored veil.

The Godself materializes a golden pole and, without touching it, stands it firmly into the wet soil. Tying the bandanna to the pole like a flag he shouts, “I give you life. You are my subordinates, AND I AM YOUR GOD!”

The rainbow floats high, reaching the stratosphere where it comfortably hovers. The ground is no longer rocky and barren. The familiar sights of Earth, of trees and oceans, blankets the planet. A veritable paradise surrounds him, like the jungles of Costa Rica, with snakes and bugs encircling him as if to offer worship. The Godself laughs “This is good, but where are the people?”

He zooms upward, surveying the land for signs of intelligent life. Finding none in the immediate area, he flies North. Over mountains and unspeakable monsters in the ocean, he finds none. Stopping over a snow covered valley, he crosses his legs and thinks, “How do I get some people here?” Stroking the stubble on his face, he continues to think, dwelling on what made his home planet so special.

Sticking his finger straight up in the air, he has a eureka moment. “The Sun,” he shouts, “I need a Sun!” The far off glow of the nebulous clouds surrounding him was obscuring the far off stars. Wasting no time, he clapses his hands together and closes his eyes. A yellow glow begins to emanate through his fingers. Concentrating, contorting his face as if he were impersonating Ace Ventura, he opens his hands. A small glowing sphere floats up. Getting larger and larger it continues skyward, obliterating the rainbow shell. Still growing larger, it continues up farther away and into the cosmos, sucking in smaller stars and planets along the way. The Godself holds up his right hand, contorting fingers into a tube, stretching his arm out as far as he can reach he follows the trajectory of his Sun. Waiting for it to fill the hole in his hand.As it just barely reaches the approximate size, he clenches his hand, halting the sphere in it’s place.

“That should be about right.” he proclaims. Looking around, the light of the sun has bleached out the surrounding area, melting all of the snow and flooding most of the land, nearly wiping out all of the life he had previously created.

“Crap,” he exclaims, “crap, crap, crap. I forgot an atmosphere!” He swipes his hands from left to right, creating clouds then pushes them out, stretching far across the sky, encircling the planet. “That should be good for now.” He yawns, slightly covering the broken teeth in his mouth.

He flies down to the planet, his new home, and lays down, materializing a white pillow out of the air, he puts it under his head after taking off his helmet. “Time to take quick little nap.” stretching his arms out as he spoke, the Godself fell asleep, hoping to awaken to some worshipers and possibly, some new friends.

#### (***Denotes new scene***)

The Godself awoke, cold and alone. Looking around, darkness engulfed him. Straining his eyes, he peered through the black, hoping for signs of his new worshipers. There were none. The trees have all long since died, and the planet was returning to its previous wasteland state.

“How long was I out?” he pondered. Flying through the sky, he looked for his previous creation, a paradise created solely to house his subordinates. He found nothing, only death and decay. Questioning the validity of the scenario, he sought answers. “Wheres my Sun?” Gazing upward, there was no warmth giving ball of light, just empty space. He flew around the planet, thinking that if it was night, the Sun would be on the other side. Nothing, it was gone.

“Well,” he noticed a sun sized hole stretching as far he could see through the nebula, “son of a bitch.” It appeared as if someone had taken it from him. Not one to be fooled with, the Godself flew as fast as he could, following the trail that would hopefully lead to his new enemy.

After a good long trek, he noticed that instead of flying, he was being pulled in. As if the Godself was caught in the gravitational pull of some mighty, otherworldly body. Noticing a bright light off in the distance, he decided that this was indeed the right course of action, that someone had taken his Sun, and he was hot on their heels. He followed cautiously, not knowing what to expect.

In a moment he was there, using all of his power to will himself to stand still. A violently swirling mass of clouds encircled an invisible yet brightly shining sphere. Approaching cautiously, he spoke. “Did you steal my Sun?”

“I don’t think so.” said a female voice.

“What is this?,” the Godself looked around, trying to find the voice.

“Well this,” the voice continued, “is me. I’m Mary, nice to meet you.”

“What is me? Where are you?” He shouted.

“I’m inside the swirling clouds. Wait...I’ll turn off the pull for a second.”

The intense display of violent stellar action halted. The clouds parted and uncovered a black sphere, maybe the size of a small car. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“Well hello there.” He blushed, then bowed forward extending his hand. “I am the Godself. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Mary, was it?”

“Yes it was,” the clouds surrounding her blushed red, “and likewise. I don’t see many strangers come my way, so this is a nice surprise.”

“Yes it is. Well we could chit chat like this all day, but I am kind of looking for something.”

“Your sun was it?”

“Yes” he exclaimed, “Have you seen it?”

“I don’t know.” Mary paused for a moment. “What is a Sun exactly?”

“It’s a giant ball of super-hot gas, about as big as the surrounding area.” he pointed side to side. “And yellow. Big and yellow and hot.”

“Thats not really ringi...wait.” she paused to think again, “I do remember something like that from when I was younger. Maybe a Millennial ago.”

“And? And?” the Godself’s eyes shone brightly.

“And well... I think I ate it.” Mary said shamefully.

Godselfs jaw dropped. “What do you mean you ate it?”

“I’m kinda sorta a black hole, so it’s in my nature.”

“What do you mean it’s in your nature?” He responded furiously. “Can it be somethings nature to steal my Sun and kill my planet?”

“You don’t know what a black hole is, do you?” she laughed as the Godself grew impatient. “A black hole just eats things. Well, everything. I can sometimes turn off the gravitational pull, but most of the time I don’t see it coming. I can’t tell you the types of things I have eaten.”

“So you just pull in everything around you, not caring about what it is, then devour it?”

“Correct.” she responded.

“Then how come you didn’t take my planet too? Or the clouds? or any other planet I passed by on my way here?” He demanded.

“You may not like me for this.” she said shyly.

The Godself crossed his arms and said, “Try me.”

“You see, I havent talked to anybody in a long time. And I could sense your presence when you started up...?”

“Better Eden.” he said curtly.

“Better Eden, I thought you might come by and we might have a nice chat.” anxiety crept over her, as if in a moment, he would be gone and she would be alone again. “And after you didn’t come by, I feared that you would never come by.”

“And then you...?”

“And then I pulled in your sun, figuring you would chase it then we could finally meet. But then you never came. How long did it take you to figure out that your sun was gone? I feel that I did this a thousand years ago.”

“If you must know, I was napping.” He uncrossed his arms and pointed his finger at her.


“I WAS TIRED! Gods need naps too. Or else I’ll get cranky.”

“If this is what you are like well rested then I fear the alternative.”

“Enough, let me get this straight.” He began to gesture his fingers, miming counting. “You stole my Sun, killed my planet and all that inhabit it, and...” he paused, “Stole my heart.”

Mary blushed again. “Really?”

“That is the most romantic thing has ever done for me.” he got closer to her, floating just three feet away. “Do you like spaghetti?”

“I don’t know, is that like the gases that surround us?”

“No, it’s noodles and marinara sauce and meatballs and it’s the best.”

“I guess I could try it.” her clouds flashing a soft red.

“Then it’s a date!”

“A date?” she had no idea of what that was.

“A date, you know? I’ll make you dinner, we will sit and chat about common interests over a bottle of wine, or beer, whatever you like.”

“That sounds nice.”

“I’ll come by here in a week after I fix up my planet and dinner.”

The Godself flew away after they exchanged goodbyes and Mary turned on her gravitational pull again. His heart was racing. From disaster to a date is a lot to process, but he couldn’t be more excited.

He landed on his planet and began to rebuild. It was a long and repetitive task, but he had something to look forward too.